Cry of a TSC Intern Teacher: DON’T BLAME ME FOR GIVING UP. THE NOBLE PROFESSION HAS MESSED ME

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I have always been so passionate about the teaching profession. I have always put the students at heart. I have always been their source of hope. But now, I’m worse than their doormat.
Since this internship program started interns haven’t received a penny. The principals are also uncaring.

As I write this article, I’m afraid of the calendar reading Feb 28 since it will mean the end month. My landlord will now be demanding his two months rent. NHIF, HELB and my children’s school fees will all be looking at me.
My gas cylinder is now a home of oxygen and dust. My stove forgot the smell of paraffin.
My electricity token gadget has made noise and muted on itself. My shoe soles are over having trekked for 4 Km morning and night to my place.
I’m now sitting at my house, I’m looking at what was to be my fridge, it’s empty. My small tins of sugar are all empty.
My wife is looking at me, she now views me as a liability. She must be tired of me. She thought she married a teacher. But now she can’t even call herself the wife of a teacher. My son is yawning, I’m waiting for my good neighbor to bring him a piece of ugali.

My heart beats when I see my mother calling. She has been sick for two months. Her Mpesa forgot my number. She used to call me baba when I was a BoM teacher under a caring principal and caring teachers. But now I can’t even help her buy panadol. I can see her dying and buried before I get somebody who can buy my one kidney to get a Tahmeed bus to Ligega. I pity her.

I know you’ll blame me. But I have written to the principal, TSC sub-county Director and Human Resource office many times asking for at least advice but all have ensured they don’t reply to my messages. My principal is a very good person. He doesn’t involve himself in other people’s problems. So, he has left me to die and resurrect if I want. Maybe he is teaching me a good lesson.
Don’t blame me for not getting other side hustles. At what time do I do them yet I’m expected in school from Mon to Sat from 6 am to 10 pm, and sometimes on Sunday.
Do you want to blame me for not getting involved in co-curricular activities to get extra coins? These areas have their owners who can’t let a new person taken and especially if you look like a threat to them. My so-called school has students in classes during remedial periods but no pay. I do teach many of them with a dream of even 50 bob per week to help in transport but no hope.

I know, I’ll one day get myself to this corner. TSC could have just said earlier that even interns will be paid that 12K after 3 months as permanent teachers. At least we could have thought of other ways.
Let me sleep now. I hope I’ll wake up tomorrow at 4 am to start jogging to school as my students board buses and motorbikes. My breakfast is at the mercy of the cook if he will bring the black tea. I’ll have to admire my students as they take their mandazis at the school canteen.
But the principal will still expect me to be self-motivated, to be happy in class, to deliver well. If I’ll speak angrily in class he will call to advise me. I love pieces of advice. But this man won’t want to know my challenges. He will pretend having not seen my letter, texts, and calls. I’ll have to keep quiet in front of him as he quarrels me. I’ll take heart and go to class. I’ll deliver my lesson. I’ll faint in front of students and be pronounced dead at Coast General Hospital. Since my NHIF isn’t functioning any longer, I know I’ll die even without first aid.
My hypocritical staff mates will contribute money to burry me. I’ll be gone and forgotten. But my notes, my knowledge, will still be with students. Another intern will be recruited and life will go on.
But I won’t give up. I won’t allow TSC and the principal to kill my charisma for this noble profession. I’ll still teach the worms in the grave. I’ll teach them not to be uncaring. Maybe they will listen. I’ll remark as a lesson well taught. I’ll tell the worms not to hate the teaching profession. But I’ll only advise them to encourage their children to work hard to get high grades. The low-grade students are the enemy of the teaching profession. They are people with no otherwise hence easily manipulated. I’ll teach the worms to ensure they develop their education system where there is order. Where the principal genuinely wants to know the welfare of each teacher. Where the staff is concerned. Where the government is led by a human. I’ll have delivered my lesson. Since the dead know nothing, I’ll continue dying till I’m resurrected in a new world with new TSC boss, a new principal, and new teachers. I’ll also be new; not with faults that you are now seeing hence preparing to post to blame me. I’ll be happy again in the noble profession. I’ll teach, I’ll instruct, I’ll get results and I’ll be rewarded during the process and at the end.
(INTERN )

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